Halloween is one of my favorite times of the year.  It’s spooky fun with lots of horror film marathons, trick-or-treaters and, of course, plenty of candy for me!  But this is GearExpert, and you guys know I love zombies.  I don’t just like them.  I love them.  I love them so much I recently gave in to temptation and allowed a festering, decaying, decrepit zombie to take a nibble on my forearm.  It was a horrifying experience, but also a wonderful one.  I got to experience life on the other side.  I felt the hunger for brains.  My motor skills diminished and all I wanted was to feed.

Obviously, as I’m writing this now, I was brought back from my undead status.  I could explain how this was achieved, but it’s all quite technical.  I will say it wouldn’t have been possible without the incredibly equipment found in our Laboratory Store.

You can see a short portion of my time as an undead ghoul in the video at the top of the page.  That blow from the Mag Instruments Maglite was not a killing blow, but rather the zombie version of a tranquilizer.  Zombies don’t respond to tranquilizer darts, but a good knock over the head can slow them down enough to tie them up and cure them.

Fortunately for everyone at OpticsPlanet, my transition from handsome young man to fiendish walking dead monster was controlled and expected, so we were fully prepared.  I was allowed a bit of mobility to study my movements, and we tested a number of different optics, such as the ThOR 320 Thermal Imager, to see if they would be effective during a zombie outbreak.  The ThOR proved zombies lose almost all their body heat within 3 hours of turning, but it is the most effective tool at determining if someone is a zombie or simply an injured, limping human.

Of course, the best kit for dealing with me in my undead form was the Z.E.R.O. Kit.  It was actually the laboratory equipment in that kit that helped cure me of the disease.  It’s unfortunate that the zombie plague evolves so quickly, as a single cure will only work on a small handful of zombies before the rampant disease resists the cure.  It’s a good idea to have the scientific equipment on hand at all times to make sure you can bring your loved ones back from the land of the living dead.

But you have to keep yourself safe too.  And all the equipment in the world won’t help you if you’re not well-trained.  Since we don’t all have zombies wandering around to practice our aim, the next best bet would be a zombie target.  This Halloween we decided to give you a leg up before the zombie apocalypse comes for FREE!  That’s right, we’re not charging you for these sweet zombie targets, and they’re exclusive to us!

Take a look at the three undead targets below.  You can get full size version (and they’re nice and big!) on our Zombie Invasion page, but from the pic below you can see what options we have.  Having been a zombie, I can give you a bit deeper understanding of the mindsets of the three zombies below.  The one on the left was a football player before being bitten, and he still goes for the quarterback, so if there’s a clear leader in your group, make sure to take down this zombie first to keep your group functioning properly.

I am actually the model for the middle zombie.  It’s important you watch out for this sort of ghoul.  I’m more of an unassuming zombie than a lethal predator.  But I lull you into a false sense of security.  I make you think you can ignore me.  Then you’re bitten.

Fun fact: this is also my method of wooing the ladies.  Sixty percent of the time it works every time.

The final zombie is actually the most dangerous.  From her still stylish hair to the sway in her hips, you know this lady-zombie could ate men alive when she was still alive, so her new hunger only makes her that much more effective at working her way past men’s defenses.  Show no mercy with her.  Remember that if you truly care about her you’ll give her undead soul peace.

We had a bunch of fun making these new zombie targets, and we hope you have a lot of fun (serious fun though, cause zombies are serious business) printing them out and taking them to the range for some target practice.  Make sure to check out our Zombie Invasion page so you can get these zombie targets!

Enjoy this Halloween, and enjoy what time we have right now to prepare for the coming undead takeover.  I’m lucky, as a survivor of the zombie virus I’m now immune and no longer tasty to zombies.  I’ll still be training hard though, cause I want to help you survive.  The least you could do is give your fellow man the same courtesy.  Good luck.

funhalloweenzombie

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